Can We Talk: Behold Your Own Beauty

KUDOS GABOUREY

I was thrilled to read that Gabourey Sidibe will be featured in Harper's Bazaar, and the cover of V magazine's issue #63 which will feature plus size models. The fashion industry is trying to change, but the process will always move at a snails pace. There was Italian Vogue's all black issue, a tribute to the many beautiful black women in the fashion industry who are still struggling to be as successful as their white counterparts in print and runway. And now a plus size (very plus size, not the thinner side of plus size that Tyra picks to be on America's Next Top Model) woman will grace the cover of a fashion magazine, a very fashion forward magazine. (Not to mention the fascination with Chanel Iman, and even Jourdan Dunn and Jessica White. I'm seeing more black supermodels in the making.) Who'd a thunk it??? I began thinking about what this means. In her interview with Harper's Bazaar Gabourey says about her rise to stardom:

"It justifies everyone in my life who told me I wouldn't be anything until I lost weight."

It means, where there is a will, there's a way. Where there is drive, hard work and dedication, there is success. There is the paving of roads for future generations. It means that "times, they are a-changing." And it means that you've got to keep loving you and doing you and eventually others will see all of the good that they were to ignorant to notice before. Gabourey says:

 "People always ask me, 'You have so much confidence. Where did that come from?' It came from me. One day I decided that I was beautiful, and so I carried out my life as if I was a beautiful girl. I wear colors that I really like, I wear makeup that makes me feel pretty, and it really helps. It doesn't have anything to do with how the world perceives you. What matters is what you see. Your body is your temple, it's your home, and," she chuckles, "you must decorate it."

LADIES, DECIDE YOU'RE OWN WORTH, DECIDE YOUR OWN BEAUTY! If you don't someone will decide it for you. At an early age we learn what people think of our outer appearance. We learn from their words and actions what our looks are perceived to be, we learn who and what to consider attractive, beautiful, pretty, sexy, handsome, average, ugly, and unattractive. We learn to either reject or accept how we are created. We learn inaccurately. It isn't until we are older that most of us learn that WE have the power to decide if we are beautiful, and that people's perceptions are based on what has been agreed upon as a whole to be acceptable. We are not taught that society is fickle, and that what is in today can be gone tomorrow, or that even if you do meet their standards they can still decide to hate you one day and love you the next. We are not explicitly taught that beauty is viewed differently from person to person, society to society, and culture to culture. It is not thoroughly explained to us that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. 


I am a firm believer in people having a choice in EVERYTHING in life. The choice may be between bad and worse, but it is still a CHOICE. And even when you do not choose, you are still choosing. You can not run from accountability, it's the shadow you can never escape. Gabourey made the choice, and so can you. Beauty truly is in the eye of the beholder, and guess who that beholder should be? YOU. BEHOLD YOUR OWN BEAUTY. By many standards Gabourey is not beautiful, to some she is too big or too dark, or just does not have the facial features that would enable her to be called pretty. To some she should lose weight and then she would be pretty, to some she is "pretty for a dark skinned girl." To me, she is pretty just the way she is. Gabourey does have outer beauty, and even more important, she has inner beauty, and that shines out and only magnifies that infectious smile of hers. Watch her appearances on Conan (Part 1, Part 2, Part 3) and Ellen and you will fall in love with her aura. Her cup literally runs over with likability. She has charisma for days. She is tremendously confident in who she is on the inside and on the outside and it shows in her body language and dialogue. And like most of us, it took her years to reach that level of self-love. Want we all need to do is teach our daughters and sons to behold their own beauty as well so that they may grow in confidence and hopefully not waste too much time vying for acceptance from others, and trying to be something that they're not.


So again, to ALL reading this. If you haven't already, make the decision, the CHOICE, to see yourself as beautiful, sexy, and/or attractive. It's a decision that shouldn't be left up to others...often times they will not decide in your best interest.

SIDEBAR: As you can see Dakota Fanning will also have a cover for the size issue. I was quite happy about this as well. She is such a phenomenal actress! Her first movie was I am Sam and even then you just knew that she would if given the opportunity she could make waves in the industry. KUDOS DAKOTA!

Happy Girls Are the Prettiest

--Audrey Hepburn

WHAT DO YOU THINK?